Ask me 10 years ago how I would define self-care and I would have said it was all about keeping my hair done, getting mani and pedi’s, shopping, and having a good time on the weekends. Yep that was what my self-care “routine” looked like. Truth is there was nothing caring about how I was choosing to show up for myself. Granted, there is nothing wrong with doing any of these things, and actually I still enjoy doing all of them. The difference is BALANCE.
Self-care is not a new concept. Matter of fact, you have probably heard the term plenty of times reading through self-help books or just scrolling online. The term has been used worldwide for years to guide people towards making better lifestyle choices. It has been used so much that when you hear "self-care" you may even roll your eyes and ask yourself, "Why is it that everyone thinks self-care is the answer to all problems?!"
As a spiritual coach, when I first start working with clients and bring up self-care I am usually met with an eye roll. I usually respond by saying, "Trust me I get it. Here we go again." It is not until I explain what self-care really is and how it is important spiritually when it comes to removing blocks that I finally gain their full attention.
Changing Your Perspective On Self Care
Back when looking good was my only form of self-care I was mentally confused about who I was, my love life was a mess, and I was insecure. My intention behind the activity was to cover up and mask the fact that I was broken, and not to add to who I already was. Oh and let me not forget to mention…. I was broke!
Getting my hair and nails done EVERY WEEK boosted my confidence but depleted my bank account. I was spending money I didn’t have just so I can feel good about myself. Let’s not even get into buying a complete outfit every weekend to go out and partake in activities that lowered my vibration and kept me in a repetitive cycle of stagnation. I was living a life where I just existed and excepted whatever came my way saying “That’s just how life is.”
You might be saying “I hear you girl, but I’m not broke.” Maybe you are not broke on a financial level and you can afford the weekly beauty maintenance and expensive wardrobe, but what about your mind? Are you burdened with overthinking everyone’s intentions or constantly worrying about how others view you? Do you find yourself always fearful and worrying about your financial situations? Are you constantly doubting if you are good enough or if you will be lonely forever?. How is your health? Yes, you look good on the outside, but are you always lacking energy, getting sick, suffering from infertility, or struggling with your weight?
Self-care is wayyyyy more than just dressing up and throwing on some lashes. It’s about regularly cleansing your mind, body, and spirit. It’s about nurturing and feeding those aspects of yourself with positive and healthy foods, affirmations, and information. In return this builds mental toughness, physical strength, and spiritual power.
When you take time to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually, you raise your vibration and develop confidence that exudes. You develop that IT factor. You go from not being able to attract the attention of people, money, and good experiences, to being a magnet for all good things. You start attracting abundance and people craving to be in your presence.
What Is Self Care
Self-care is the act of taking responsibility for your own pain, healing, happiness, and success, and making these things your utmost priority. It is knowing who you are and what you want and taking actions every day to stay in alignment with that energy. This is my definition of self-care.
I equate self care heavily with self-knowledge, self-love, and self-respect. You show love to others by taking time to get to know them, caring for them, and respecting their decisions and boundaries. It is no different when it comes to you. You show love to yourself when you take time to get to know yourself, care for yourself, and respect your decisions and boundaries.
Many times when self-care is a foreign concept to someone, you will find this person indecisive and unable to make a decision when it comes to anything in their life. They lack boundaries and always seem to have the worst situations that happen to them. This is because they have no clue who they are or what they want. They lack direction and therefore let life happen to them instead of getting in the driver seat and determining their own destination.
Think about it. If I do not know myself how can I make any decisions or set any boundaries? If I don't know myself how do I know what I want out of life? If I do not know what I want, I do not have an end destination on where I want my life to go. No destination on the GPS means no there are no directions that can be given. Therefore you stay stuck. Right where you are.
The 3 Pillars Of Self Care
There are three main pillars to self-care, the mind, the body, and the spirit. I like using a car to describe self-care. Think of your mind as your internal GPS system. Your body is the vehicle that helps you maneuver through life. Your spirit aka life force is the engine. They all work together to help you either become a happy and thriving goddess or a woman who is a victim of life. Let's take a deeper look.
- If you are not taking care of your mind by setting goals, strengthening your brain, and removing all negative thoughts that can be clouding your judgment and decision making, you can not give your body clear direction on where to go. This is equivalent to having a GPS but not knowing the address of your destination.
- If you are not taking care of your body by eating the right foods and staying hydrated, you will end up sick unable to show up for life. This is equivalent to putting the right fuel in your vehicle. If we put the wrong fuel, our car will not drive smoothly and will eventually break down.
- If you do not keep your spirit in tune and plugged into source (god, the universe, spirit world), you will not have the energy or needed power to keep your body moving. You will feel depleted and cloudy. Your spirit is equivalent to the engine in a car. If you do not get your spark plugs changed and your engine tuned up, your vehicle will eventually stop moving. Meaning you now have no way to get from point A to point B.
Do you see how this works? Self-care of the mind, body, and spirit is vital to you living a quality life of purpose and happiness. I created the ultimate Self-Care Checklist, giving you 104 ways to care for your mind, body, and spirit. You can download it here.
Hopefully, this post sparked a desire for you to care for yourself in your entirety. You deserve it!
Until next time...