Every year women all over the country declare... "New Year, New Me." I have definitely been one of these women. The thing is, every year started off with me saying that oh so common phrase, and ended with me ending the year in a similar place I was twelve months ago.
Think about it for a second...
Have you had a moment where you set the intention or made a promise to yourself to change, not go back to a toxic situation, or do things differently? Then before you know it, you are back to doing the same thing, excepting the same mess, repeating the same bad habits?
Don't beat yourself up, majority of woman have fallen into this trap. The thing is, so many people fall into the trap but only 30% actually does what it takes level up and transform themselves in order to create the amazingly juicy life they desire and deserve.
I have learned that there are crucial steps that must be taken in order for change to not only happen, but also for those changes to stick long enough that they totally reconstruct not only the woman, but also her reality.
In my "Goddess Glow Up" series, I will be sharing with you ways you can have the ultimate level up in 2020. As with everything, we will start this series off with leveling up the mind so that you become mentally sexy, attractive, and intriguing.
The eyes are useless when the mind is blind.
They say the mind is a terrible thing to waste... and for once "they" were finally right. Many of us waste our brain power on reality TV, gossiping with our girlfriends and trying to figure out problems that aren't meant to be solved. Then we question why we've gotten the results that we are experiencing in our lives.
You can only do what you know, and in order to do something different with your life, you must know something different. The thoughts and ideas that enter your mind on a daily basis are all influenced by WHAT YOU HAVE LOADED YOUR MIND WITH. So you must first master your mindset. A valuable woman, a goddess, not only looks and acts a certain way, she THINKS a certain way. So today we will examine your mindset.
An intentional woman is a powerful woman. When you meet a woman who has it altogether, never misses a beat, and who is living a life that other women only dream of, this woman intentionally took the actions to manifest her reality. So many women walk around letting life happen to them. They become victims to their circumstances and fall so deep into a downward spiral that they find it very hard to pull themselves out.
When you live life intentionally, you set goals and intentions that are in alignment with the woman you want to become. You take the actions necessary to become that woman everyday un-apologetically. You are in control mentally, and you powerfully navigate through life with a plan and a purpose. Staying consistent until everything you desire is yours. In the meantime, anything and anyone that is not in alignment with your future self must be let go and released.
Get Mentally Clear
Getting clear about how your level up will look is a very important part of your journey. When I say get clear I don't mean writing a few words like... "I will be a powerful woman with a lot of money living a fabulous life." That is a very vague one sentence description that really says nothing. You need to get crystal clear about how every detail of your glow up will look. How will you look? What is your lifestyle? What is your occupation? What is your credit score? What kind of car will you drive? What is your mission?
You should be answering all of these questions in great detail. I advise my coaching students to create a Life Plan. Like a business plan, this Life Plan describes your ideal life in detail. It is a blueprint you create and will refer back to many times on your level up journey. You can download my FREE Life Plan Template to use a guide.
It is very easy to suppress our dark characteristics as well as the things in our life we are not so happy about. Many women are quick to point the finger when it comes to why their life is a hot mess. Truth is, you can not level up and stand in your power until you start fully embracing ALL of who we are at this very moment, the good and the bad. You must also take ownership and acknowledge that your life is your responsibility. Every mistake and every win falls on you. So if your life is a hot mess... yes sis, it is your fault.
The second you accept this truth is the second you take back your power and the magic happens. You can not fix something that you don't think is broken. You can temporarily find balance and happiness in your life by distracting yourself and lying to yourself, but in order to maintain that balance you have to stop AVOIDING and start HEALING the dysfunctional parts. This step is the step to true freedom. Take it seriously!
Get Some Values
Show me a woman with no values and I will show you a woman that wanders through life with no sense of direction and will fall for anything. Values are a set of standards that one lives their life by. It is the deciding factor when making any decision, entering into any partnership or relationship, taking any job, or making any major life changes. When you do not have a standard or rules that guide you through life, you will settle for less than you deserve and most likely you will lead a life based off of what someone else values and deems important... your parents, society, friends.
If you do not have any standards, I encourage you to stop reading this article right now and think about five values that are nonnegotiable to you and write them down in order of importance. For me, my values are freedom, passion, intention, self love, and creativity. I have a few more on the list, but these five are non negotiable. Every decision, relationship, job, hobby, vacation I take, book I read, function I attend, ANYTHING... must fall in alignment with these five values or I will not engage. These are the things that light me up and make my spirit happy, and these are things I will not compromise. Establishing values is a major key to a lasting level up.
Become Mentally Self Aware
Self Awareness is a super power. A self aware woman is dangerous due to her deep understanding of how she is internally wired, and her way of using this understanding to show up in the world in a way that demands respect. You see, when a woman knows herself inside and out, her complete makeup (mental, emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual), she is unshakable. No one can approach this woman and say something to her that makes her insecure. She has already accepted her flaws. No one can manipulate her into believing she is something she is not, because she intentionally developed her character to be who she is. Life can not break her. She knows her weaknesses and has the strength to overcome when the light shines upon them. Bottom line, you can not deceive, destroy, manipulate, or break a woman who has put in the work to get to know herself to her core.
Learn To Flow
Feminine energy flows. It is fluid and soft. So many times women are so rigid and resistant. They are rigid when it comes to how they move their body and how they move through life. They resist change and find it hard to just go with the flow. When you make the decision to level up your life, you must learn to flow with life instead of constantly trying to swim upstream.
I'll let you in on a little secret. Everything is connected. When your thinking is rigid and resistant, your body becomes rigid and resistant, and your life becomes rigid and resistant. Nothing comes easy for you. You will always attract situations and circumstances to you that continuously trigger you to work harder than is needed in order to find any happiness or peace. Once you train your mind to have faith and trust that you are safe. You will start to view change as everything working out for your highest good. This will allow you to flow and therefore things will begin to flow into your life easily and effortlessly.
A consistent meditation practice is an excellent way to develop a mind that is trusting and calm. Yoga is an amazing way to promote flexibility not only in your body but also in your mind. For whatever is done in the mind the body will follow. Your body can not be flexible unless your mind is there first.
Unlearn and Deprogram
In order to level up into this divine feminine goddess within you, you have to unlearn all your basic woman tendencies and habits. You see, our subconscious mind controls 96% of how we respond to life. You can read this entire article and implement every step, but if you skip this step, I guarantee your level up will be very temporary.
In order for any major level up to be long lasting and successful you first have to deprogram your subconscious mind so that it does not sabotage all your progress as time goes by. You do this by examining all your belief systems. The beliefs you have about money, love, health, politics, religion... everything. You then choose to release and replace any belief that no longer serves you or promotes you becoming the woman you desire to be.
You can not manifest anything in your life you don't believe you are worthy of receiving or that you do not believe is possible. If you want to manifest a loyal partner but was always told by your mama over and over again that all men cheat, more than likely your subconscious mind is holding on to that belief and manifesting cheaters into your life. Once you reprogram this belief by saying affirmations, and researching successful healthy relationships where men are faithful, you will begin to create a new belief that will manifest that which you desire into your life.
Toss Out The Baggage
You have to pack light on this level up journey. There is no space for any old baggage to tag along. IT MUST BE TOSSED OUT! In order to do this you must go deep into the shadows where you hide all the things that you do not want others to see. The jealousy, the insecurity, the fears of abandonment, the low self worth, ALL OF IT. You have to get to the root of every low vibration emotion that comes up and do the work to heal. This means forgiving that ex who broke your heart and left you with no closure, healing your mommy and daddy issues, and forgiving yourself for allowing the experiences to take power over you.
I know you have heard the phrase "hurt people hurt people". This is a fact. People will hurt you because its all they know how to do, and then they will leave. Leave you there to pick up allllll the pieces. Is it fair? Definitely not. However, the truth remains that even though they hurt you, they are not responsible for healing you... that is your job. So in order for your level up to be successful and long lasting, you must let go and toss out all the baggage and take your power back.
Let's face it, and I am going to be very blunt, in order to level up and be a powerful goddess, you can not be superficial or dumb. PERIOD. You must be wise in your decision making and also portray knowledge in your conversations. You want to be a woman who adds value in to every conversation. Do not be the woman who can only discuss what is happening on your favorite reality TV show, or the woman who only talks about her job and her accomplishments.You want to be well versed and well rounded when it comes to communicating. You would be surprised how rare this is to find in a woman.
To level up you must level up your mind. It is the most important tool you possess. Read books on topics you are not familiar with but interests you, or read biographies on people you respect and admire. Listen to informative podcasts. Stay current on world events (not your local news... that is depressing). Attend social and networking events. Go to seminars. Travel. There are so many ways to gain knowledge and become more well rounded.
Check out the second part to this series "Goddess Glow Up: Your Appearance And How You Show Up In The World"